Tuesday, Dec 13th 6:07pm
With another year almost behind us, it's time again to reconvene for another hilarious episode of Clamper Christmachanukwanzadad!
This year, we're doing it right, and going to a gun range (again). To eat. Well.
If all goes well, we'll be helping the needy bartenders put their kids through ivy league school. Note that this is a family-welcome event, so by all means, bring the Widder, Mistress, Girlfriend/Boyfriend, Rent-A-Date, Blow-Up Doll, or even children (ick!). Word is there will even be a jolly fat man in red making an appearance.
Now for the bad news: It's all the way down near Boulder City. Given the current prices of gas, you folks in the northwest might want to start rolling your pennies now. Perhaps work out a carpool with your fellow clamper families on the Facebook group!
Also, in an effort to convince the world that we are in-fact decent human beans, please bring a non-perishable grocery item. XNGH Nnad will be collecting our donations and delivering them to a suitable local charity.
Tuesday, December 13th, 6:00pm
Pro Gun Club
12801 Old U.S. 95
Boulder City, NV 89005
Here's a link to a map, in case you don't know where it is:
You MUST RSVP at the PayPal Link on our website (or mail it in, you old bastard) NO LATER THAN 12/1. Cost is $40/head (soft drinks and tax included). Helluva deal.
The Fine Print:
Please accept, you know, the thing, with no obligation, implied or implicit, our better-than-average wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender fluid celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all...
...and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2023, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only AMERICA in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, smell, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, number of cats, preferred pronouns of the day, sexual preference, or phone-scam-susceptibility of the wishee.
(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise or guarantee by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/him/they/pony-self or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.)
Most importantly, Epstein didn't kill himself.